Four Random Jokes

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.The librarian says, “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”

A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.”Morning!” he said.The other man replies, “No, just having a shit.”

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.The driver got out and he was a dwarf.He said, “I’m not happy.”I replied, “Well, which one are you then?”

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. “You have been to France before, Monsieur?” the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.”Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready.”The British gentleman says, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.””Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!”The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.Then he quietly explained:”Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and funny enoughI couldn’t find any f**king Frenchmen to show it to.”

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